The Pale Queen of Nowhere

And on a soppier note...

2009-12-23T00:53:53Z

I have just ordered my wedding dress :)

www.thedarkangel.co.uk/catalogue3.php

(Image linked rather than shown because the fecking site won't let me copy it)

Britons Not Equipped for Weather Shocker

2009-12-23T00:16:13Z

How is it that many places on this planet of ours can operate perfectly well in three or four feet of snow and yet under six inches leads to insane transport chaos in this bloody country? Why do we have trains that short out in snow? Why? Don't other countries nearer the Arctic Circle have electric trains?

Four and a half hours to get home!

Grown Up

2009-12-12T23:24:32Z

I had a terrifying moment when purchasing shopping in Sainsbury's last night. I caught the eye of a perfectly grown-up lady carrying her clinking bags of shopping away and talking to the shop assistant in a perfectly grown-up, respectable, normal manner. And then realised I was looking at my reflection in the big plate-glass windows.

By all the gods, I'm a grown-up. When the fuck did that happen?

(Then I went home and set a Marktrap. That was fun :P)

Bizarre and pointless dreams...

2009-12-03T00:13:09Z

...are evidently disturbing my sleep enough to make it difficult to wake up most mornings.

Current highlights have included Jenny, Phill and I engaging in some sort of bizarre three-legged race around a very trashy mansion while wearing black leotards and goggles, and Jenny deciding to move in with Sparks, who then gets the plague.

I particularly remember Mark eventually waking me up after me apparently yelling "Do you want me to change it off Thomas the Tank, Sparks?" in my sleep.

Oh, Who Is That Young Sinner?

2009-12-02T22:51:01Z

Oh, Who Is That Young Sinner...?

Oh who is that young sinner with the handcuffs on her wrists?

And what has she been after that they groan and shake their fists?

And wherefore is she wearing such a conscience-stricken air?

Oh they're taking her to prison for the colour of her hair.

'Tis a shame to human nature, such a head of hair as this;

In the good old time 'twas hanging for the colour that it is;

Though hanging isn't bad enough and flaying would be fair

For the nameless and abominable colour of her hair.

Oh a deal of pains she's taken and a pretty price she's paid

To hide her poll or dye it of a mentionable shade;

But they've pulled the beggar's hat off for the world to see and stare,

And they're haling her to justice for the colour of her hair.

Now 'tis oakum for her fingers and the treadmill for her feet

And the quarry-gang on Portland in the cold and in the heat,

And between her spells of labour in the time she has to spare

She can curse the God that made her for the colour of her hair.

A.E. Housman

I'm possibly thinking of dye.

Gaugh

2009-12-02T22:47:36Z

Gaugh. I'm not sure if this crappy feeling is an incipent cold, the result of three days solid auditing at work or still somehow being hung over from my date with the rapist bison...

In other news, I'm trying to prod my bridesmaid to pick her damn dress and she is not answering. I should send her a picture of an armchair to threaten her with...

This May Be Asking A Lot

2009-12-02T21:53:30Z

But does anyone have any idea where I might find plate to fit a size 8-10 midget? Even bits of plate? Preferably light enough that I won't break bones by moving in it?

Mantra

2009-11-24T00:04:01Z

Sufficient unto the day is the evil therein.

I'm sorry if I'm being a whiny fuck, people. I'm trying not to be.

Anger is spiky, and sickening, like mountains. I can feel it trying to rile me up, tangle me up, crack me like lava on the surface and burn beneath, sullenly and painfully.

Let me wash it all away. Let me smooth it all out. Let me be free...

Zeitgeist

2009-11-17T07:27:26Z

Insane weekend! The drive was killer, but it's been quite a while since I had so many moments of genuine, blood-fizzing terror during a larp!

The fallout of poor Mark's character's arrest for heresy is going to be huge...

The Spice is Life

2009-11-13T01:02:27Z

www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0690.html

What is it about Dune and webcomics?

In Flanders Field

2009-11-10T00:36:09Z

In Flanders field the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place, and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amidst the groans below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, saw dawn, felt sunset's glow
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders field.

Radio Silence

2009-10-31T12:31:10Z

Btw, phone has gone kablooey and has lost a big load of people's numbers. If you'd like to make sure I have yours, please text me and tell me who you are.

the_pale_queen @ 2009-10-31T11:43:00

2009-10-31T11:43:21Z

I know this isn't that bad. I know it isn't. I'm holding up okay, I think.

It's worrying quite how much constant pain tires you out.

More Dental Woes

2009-10-29T10:51:00Z

Well, the dentist took one look at the tooth even after antibiotic treatment and said she might as well take it out. Which was fairly nasty - I had no idea how much force it took to extract even a pretty wobbly tooth - though surprisingly about £50 cheaper than the root treatment.

My mouth is draining nastily and feels like raw hamburger, but tbh it's still an improvement over most of the last week.

Radio Silence

2009-10-22T18:55:51Z

If I seem to be ignoring you, I'm terribly sorry - my phone has gone kaput yet again...

The Hunt for Gollum

2009-10-16T20:31:53Z

www.youtube.com/watch

If you haven't seen this before, I cannot recommend it enough.

The Skint Also Have Teeth!

2009-10-16T19:42:01Z

Curent dental bill: £141.

And this is on the NHS, for root canal treatment and one other filling. At a private dentist, I believe it would be around ten times as much.

The next time anyone at all tells me the NHS is the worst thing that ever happened to this country, or makes the death panel joke, I'm going to break their fucking hose.

Shit, I'm skint :(

Regency Yumminess

2009-09-26T15:53:33Z

To celebrate the A&A downtime being out, I've just bought four metres of cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll - gorgeous embroidered flannel and mean to talk poor squintywitchinto showing me how to make a gorgeous Regency winter dress from it.

Of course, knowing my luck, the player event won't go ahead and I'll die in beautiful flannel dress next July...

The Shudders

2009-09-24T23:59:10Z

Can't believe how backwards this bloody sickness is. I seem to be getting worse instead of better. The runny nose has more or less dried up, but the cough's got worse, my throat feels like someone's taken a wire brush to it, my stomach's upset, I'm hot and cold constantly and I'm still getting dizzy from strenuous exercise like moving between one room and another, or not lying down for more than three minutes.

The Dreaded Lurgy

2009-09-23T12:14:32Z

Ugh. Sick again, and now breaching the work absence policy, so I'll be up for an HR interview when I go back. It's clearly flu - feeling slightly better today but still have a temperature, muscle aches, sore throat, cough, sore throat... the usual roll of misery I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing of by now ;)

:D

2009-09-08T00:41:34Z

Happy birthday, herecosyouare !

Nestly goodness

2009-09-02T22:56:30Z

Back on the net after about a week offline; partially due to my flat turning itself into some sort of wireless blackspot (again), but mostly simply because I was just too damn knackered. It was an insane week at work last week, what with catching up on my own work and doing work of several other people currently on leave - sadly, one of the other admin staff is on long-term personal leave because her daughter has just been diagnosed with lymphona.

I am very, very much looking forward to the Nest tavern night tomorrow. I'm mostly happy with my kit, though I do wish my goggles would come, but more that I feel I have a handle on the characterisation now after the IC chat with Orev last night. Essentially, I'm playing an ex-slave wemic from a vaguely Japanese-style culture. My real main worry was that she would turn out too much like Sas, so I was glad to find myself in an entirely different mindset. If I can just get that too come across tomorrow, everything should be coming up roses.

I do hope the dear boy is well enough to make it, though. He was sick at lunchtime today and he's still looking on the green side.

Back to work...

2009-08-24T17:24:06Z

...apparently have managed not to get myself sacked or blown anything up by absent-mindedness in my absence.

I'm taking this as a good sign.

Intrigue, Steampunk and Corsetry

2009-08-23T21:39:54Z

Well, I just had a truly fantastic week off in the Lakes with the lovely boy, and a truly fantastic weekend down in Coventry Steampunking with the lovely people in Zeitgeist. Am so horrifically inspired with Bowdy et al's lovely work that Mark and I ended up coming up with a concept for a new larp game to fill the long drive home.

The basic concept is that it would be set in Elizabethan England, probably the year after the Armada (depending on a few things I'll need to look up). Some magic, but more intrigue - information networks, gossip, rumours, propaganda and misinformation. And a whole bunch of other random things, but those are FOIP :)

I'm not sure how much room there is for another system in Glasgow, but if Zeitgeist can exist in close proximity with Scarred Lands, I would like to think we have some flexibility up here as well.

Meme - Oh, go on then...

2009-08-16T22:24:10Z

Well, I wasn't going to do this.

But then Willow died, and I find I'm having a bit of trouble getting her voice out of my head. So, what the hell?

Dramatis Personae:

Major Sasagani Kotetsu Ipesch (Maelstrom)

Willow Na'Vie Ash, Paladin of Peragus (The Cuckoo's Nest – very recently deceased)

Kitten (The Cuckoo's Nest)

Promise LaFayette-Moreaux (Masquerades and Massacres)

How old are you?
Sas: Unas and I agreed on 21, festival before last. Flip says he would like me to keep it at 20, so he has the pleasure of sleeping with a 20-year-old no matter how old he gets, but I think this runs the risk of being ridiculous.
Willow: 27 when I died. Not sae uncommon fer a hafllin', really. I died deaeing whit I wis meant tae, so that's fair enough.
Kit: Um... I think I am 10, perhaps? Or twelve?
Willow: Tae of ye don' know how old y'are? Whit?
Sas: I was born a slave. I do not remember my own birth, so I am going off my husband and my best friend for this.
Kit: Likewise, though I do remember my mother. Besides, I seem to age far faster than these Pure...humans. I am guessing. Why does it matter, anyhow.
Sas: Exactly. What one does matters most.
Promise: Well, I knows I'm sixteen, no matter what any of you says. Youngest a' the family, even though Baby's the youngest they acknowledge public-like.

2. Who is your family?
Promise: I got Family an' no mistake! Whether they can acknowledge me or not, they takes care o' they own. Plus I got Grandpa, and he's enough fo' anybody all by his lonesome, even if he makin' life difficult for Jean-Phillippe about that!
Sas: My husband, Flip... my children... all four of them... Can you believe that? Me, with a husband and children... Sometimes I think of myself, three or four years ago, and think that I could not believe myself as I am now, with this lap and this life full of such riches...
Willow: (sadly) I had children, once. I... had a husband too, but I could not look him in the face after the children... it wasnae his fault, but he is largely the reason why I'm deid. My friends came frae me, though, and I did get to tell Salvatore that I loved him, before I died, and do my best tae tell Ramona the same too. I wis taken into the greater life by my grandmother, and I will guide my people tae a new future. It's a good end, aye?
Sas: Everyone wants a good end. And to be reunited with those who they have lost...
Kit: I have Raphael, my master. He is like a father to me, I suppose. And the Guild. That is family enough for anyone, I think.

3. What do you think is special about yourself?
Promise: Oh, lots. Special...that ain' so much of an issue. Sometimes, I'd like a bit less that's special, an... Well, that ain' gonna happen. So I gotta do what I can with what I got.
Willow: I knae whit you mean. I wis marked by a god at my birth to bring my people back to the wider world, an...there's been joy in it, but it's never been easy...
Kit: There is no one like me in this part of the world. I am always different from everyone else, and many would see me as no more than an animal, and no more deserving of consideration than one, had it not been for Master Raphael and the Guild.
Sas: Special... I would not say there is anything special about me. Except that I am so lucky. So very lucky, for what I have been granted. My love. My children. My friends. Havocstan.

4. Are you a virgin?
Kit: Never had any kittens, so I suppose so...
Willow: That cannae be the ainly way ye'd measure it.
Kit: There's things you do, when you are in a patrol, to survive. One of the reasons I liked being a scout. I preferred things on my own terms, my own risks, rather than selling myself for my own safety.
Willow (shocked silence.)
Sas: (nods)
Promise: Well, I am. And likely to remain that way. Ain' nothin' bout me likely to attract a husband, and Grandpa made it mightily clear he ain' havin' anything else. Is it...odd to say that on one hand I glad of that, an' on anotha I...a little bit disappointed?
Sas: (laughs) Well, I have not been a virgin since I was...thirteen? Fourteen? Whenever they thought me old enough to breed, and I would not put too much stock in losing your virginity. What comes after, what you choose...very different. If you are lucky.
Promise (blushes)
Willow (blushes, strangled voice) Well, I had my litter...an' it was good, fer a while...an' then they died. An' then I learned...other things.... Other ways...

5. What do you do to pass the time?
Promise: (sighs) I do whatevah Marie-Claire needs me fo'. I read to her, sew with her, help her with her Momma... An' I help Irish Molly with her healin' and her spells, and listen to her talk about the Old Country... An' I help Grandpa with all the little things, keepin' the house goin' and doin' things for the Loa, an... and wait for my life to start... an' dream of something special that just mine...
Willow: There were all these...things I was goin' tae learn, that Salvatore wis goin' tae teach me. Readin' an' writin'... a whole host of new ideas. But I ran out a' time. Other than tha'... I practiced a lot wi' my sword an' shield, and learned how tae sing again...
Kit: One thing about being a journeyman is that one is always busy. Perhaps if I am ever a maste I will have a moment to myself, but not in some years.
Sas: Currently, I am working for the state, for Lady Basilisk... and running after my children, and finding a few spare moments for Flip too. And the Protectorate, all those people who may need me from moment to moment. Perhaps I am insane, taking up two professions which mean one's life is never one's own... But it is such joy. Such joy... To belong.

6. Have you killed anyone?
Willow: Bandits, and proud of it. I made the roads safe for followers for Lord Peragus, and all of those who pray to him by walking on it. I only wish I had been quicker to act, and there might no' now be sae many wounds tae heal in my homeland...
Kit: I killed when enemies cornered me... for the Pure, I suppose. Not often. I was a scout, not a warrior. Killing does not really appeal, but I will happily claw my way out of any corner anyone puts me in.
Promise: No! What do you take me fo'? (tucks hands behind her back)
Sasagani: I... killed... one who asked me to, and one... who...(covers face with hands) Could we talk about something else? Please?

7. What roleplays can people see you in?
(All look baffled)

8. If you could do anything, what would it be?
Sas: Whatever Havocstan needs. Whatever my love needs. Whatever my children need. Whatever my leader needs. I... sometimes, I think I would like peace. Just a little peace, to be with Flip and the children, quietly, all of us together, without work, without enemies. But I am content with whatever we can snatch. Content, and happier than I could have once imagined.
Willow: I nae whit ye mean. I had tha', fer a little while, but there wis always tha' feelin' in my bones, that restlessness... I tried hard to ignore it, fer my children's sakes, but when they wen' I found I had nothin' tae keep me.
Sas: I...would not imagine... losing... my children. But... no matter what I did... We...Flip and I... would do it together. Life or death... whatever came.
Willow: Then ye're lucky, lass. I hope ye're righ' abou' him. Men... Arnae whit they always appear.
Promise: I'd... I don' know. Sometimes I think I'd like to meet someone special... exciting.. someone would wouldn' care wha... But that ain' gonna happen .I'd like to learn things, a thousan' things, and do somethin' worthwhile with it.
Kit: I..like guns? I would like to be better with guns? And knives?

9. Do you love anyone?
Sas: (smiling) As I said... I could never have believed it, once. But I have my husband, my children, my dearest friends... my lap spills over with it. Such love. Such love...
Willow: I tol' Salvatore before I died. I did my best frae Ramona. I leave friends behin' me, a family tae mourn me, an' I go tae see my children... It wis a good life, filled wi' good people. Better than I deserved. I wis blessed.
Promise: Marie-Claire...she been like a mother to me. Grandpa. Louis. Irish Molly, even if she got some damn funny ways o' showin' it. An' Damballa. I fel' that love... tha' endless love...
Kit: (shrugs and turns away, lashing her tail)